No, I— it's just. At this point, not telling you would feel like... I wasn't being honest. It's very important that I be honest with you.
[Vicious sighs and forces himself to sit up straight again— shoulders squared, perfect posture. It's almost as if he's preparing himself to give a presentation and he has crippling stage fright. Still, he will fight through it, putting all of his concentration into keeping his shit together. Literally and figuratively, he's very much fighting the urge to just fade out of existence.
Though it's incredibly difficult to look at Sparkling in this moment, he has to muster the will to do it anyway. If he's going to fuck this one up, he has to take it on the chin, like a man. That's just how it goes.
He clears his throat once more, clasping his hands firmly in his lap.
Keep it together. Don't over-explain yourself. Just say what you mean.]
Sparkling, I'm sorry. I don't want to sugarcoat it.
I'm not a good person.
I won't waste your time with the details, but, back home, I...
[He usually lied about this sort of thing-- or well. Fearless would lie for them, tell them it was import-export business. It was in finance, it was transport. High dollar fibs to get some girls' interested in them enough to go out for the night.
But this is more than that. This is a person Vicious would actually hate to disappoint. He doesn't know why, and he doesn't want to think too hard about it. So he's going to just talk and let what's going to happen... happen.]
I— I was a career criminal. I would clean up messes left behind by dangerous people, and sometimes had to make my own. It's just... Part of the job.
Believe me, it's one of my greater regrets, knowing what I know now, but. That's neither here nor there.
[He shakes his head, finally breaking his gaze and lowering his head once more. There's a desperation to the laugh that escapes him.]
I just. I don't know. I can't make a case for myself, here. I do bad things for very powerful people, and I don't... Have the choice to get out of it.
This-- this place is my only way out of it. I go home, and it's back to that life. I'm trapped, there. I signed my life away to people who would kill me if I tried to leave.
That's my only excuse. I can't leave.
And— please understand, I don't want you to condone this... Path. In a different life, maybe I wouldn't have either, but... for me, it is what it is. I never had a choice.
[He purses his lips, turning his gaze back to Sparkling, apologetic. How did someone like him get dragged into a mess like this? It made sense for a monster like Vicious to be here. But why him?]
I'm sorry that you've found yourself stuck in the same boat with me. That you had your choice stripped away like that... This shouldn't have to happen to someone like you. This isn't the life you were supposed to live.
no subject
[Vicious sighs and forces himself to sit up straight again— shoulders squared, perfect posture. It's almost as if he's preparing himself to give a presentation and he has crippling stage fright. Still, he will fight through it, putting all of his concentration into keeping his shit together. Literally and figuratively, he's very much fighting the urge to just fade out of existence.
Though it's incredibly difficult to look at Sparkling in this moment, he has to muster the will to do it anyway. If he's going to fuck this one up, he has to take it on the chin, like a man. That's just how it goes.
He clears his throat once more, clasping his hands firmly in his lap.
Keep it together. Don't over-explain yourself. Just say what you mean.]
Sparkling, I'm sorry. I don't want to sugarcoat it.
I'm not a good person.
I won't waste your time with the details, but, back home, I...
[He usually lied about this sort of thing-- or well. Fearless would lie for them, tell them it was import-export business. It was in finance, it was transport. High dollar fibs to get some girls' interested in them enough to go out for the night.
But this is more than that. This is a person Vicious would actually hate to disappoint. He doesn't know why, and he doesn't want to think too hard about it. So he's going to just talk and let what's going to happen... happen.]
I— I was a career criminal. I would clean up messes left behind by dangerous people, and sometimes had to make my own. It's just... Part of the job.
Believe me, it's one of my greater regrets, knowing what I know now, but. That's neither here nor there.
[He shakes his head, finally breaking his gaze and lowering his head once more. There's a desperation to the laugh that escapes him.]
I just. I don't know. I can't make a case for myself, here. I do bad things for very powerful people, and I don't... Have the choice to get out of it.
This-- this place is my only way out of it. I go home, and it's back to that life. I'm trapped, there. I signed my life away to people who would kill me if I tried to leave.
That's my only excuse. I can't leave.
And— please understand, I don't want you to condone this... Path. In a different life, maybe I wouldn't have either, but... for me, it is what it is. I never had a choice.
[He purses his lips, turning his gaze back to Sparkling, apologetic. How did someone like him get dragged into a mess like this? It made sense for a monster like Vicious to be here. But why him?]
I'm sorry that you've found yourself stuck in the same boat with me. That you had your choice stripped away like that... This shouldn't have to happen to someone like you. This isn't the life you were supposed to live.